Where am I going?

For about a year now, I've been experiencing a slowly growing discomfort with my own position in the creation/evolution debate.  I'm not wavering in my stance on creation, but I am growing uncomfortable with the way in which we Christians (especially evangelicals) are debating the issue.  Perhaps this dissatisfaction has been growing for more than a year now, but I think it's become increasingly difficult to ignore.

Part of that discomfort is manifested in my essay for the Colossian Forum, What I would like to hear an evolutionary creationist say.  Now I've written a new essay called Surrender (which is accompanied by a blog post where you can leave comments).  It's probably best to read that essay before you continue this post.

Some of you might have read that essay and concluded that I'm the biggest hypocrite in the world.  Here I am, talking smack about people selfishly wanting to win arguments when I'm one of the biggest critics out there.  I have vigorously taken on some of the biggest names in creationism and ID, writing post after post about why they're wrong and I'm right.  Who am I to preach peace and humility?

If you were thinking along those lines, I think you're right.  I haven't been very good at practicing what I'm now preaching.  I think that's why Surrender was more of a personal challenge to me than to anyone else.  Change has to start somewhere, right?  So maybe it should start here.

I don't know what this means for the future, or even for the past.  At this point, I'm not going to change any old posts.  I wrote what I wrote, and there's no sense trying to cover it up.  To be honest, I'm still not sure how Surrender works in a practical sense.  Oh sure, I can talk about theology in theory, but what happens when some theistic evolutionist once again looks down their noses at all us dimwitted, silly creationists who just don't understand the history of theology in Europe?  Or when some creationist says something about science that's so outrageously wrong it ties my stomach in knots and makes my hair stand straight up?  How do we speak the truth in love without diminishing either one?  Christ certainly didn't pull any punches in his treatment of the Pharisees, so love isn't all hugs and giggles.

I guess I'm back to not having the answers, which is familiar territory for me.  I think I have a bit of a new direction, though.  Let's hope it leads me to the cross.

Feedback? Email me at toddcharleswood [at] gmail [dot] com.